Mainstream porn isn’t for everyone. Especially if you’re a woman. The pornography industry is one that is dominated by men, something that has been reflected in the content output for decades. A great deal of porn is, to put it lightly, demeaning towards women and very much focused on the man’s pleasure.
While there’s nothing wrong with pornography, we understand that the current mainstream offering won’t be to everyone’s tastes. So with that in mind, online erotic fiction subscription service Victoria Howard, has come up with six amazing alternatives that are empowering, sex-positive and downright sizzling.
1. Buying yourself lingerie
Who says you have to be in a relationship to treat yourself to some luxury lingerie? The feeling of matching underwear is one like no other, so why can’t you feel like that everyday? Even if you’re wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, there’s no reason why underneath those layers you can’t also be rocking a hot push-up bra and barely-there undies.
It can be incredibly emboldening and empowering to treat yourself to some lingerie, and wearing it is an amazing form of self-care. You don’t need to be coupled up to boost your self-esteem and feel sexy at the same time. So, go on, treat yo’self.
2. Sultry selfies
Whether you’ve got someone to send them to or not, snapping a few pictures of yourself in the aforementioned lingerie can be incredibly empowering. If you shudder at the thought of seeing yourself so vulnerable on camera, all the more reason to do it! You don’t have to send them to anyone; it can be a real exercise in self love. Why not snap a few pictures and focus on the features you like about yourself. Try taking more pictures that highlight those features.
Not all lighting is the most flattering, but that’s why filters exist. Whether you want to make things look brighter, or change the tone of your photo, use filters to your advantage. After all, everyone looks good in black and white.
Loving the skin you’re in and feeling confident can be an incredible turn on.
3. ‘Sexy’ films
Let’s face it, we’re all a little curious when it comes to sex. While you may not consider yourself voyeuristic, there’s something hot about watching it play out on screen. Watching erotic movies is an incredible alternative to the standard pornography on the web. There’s more focus on the storyline and the characters to allow tension to build. It’s also a perfect way to explore your fantasies and find out a bit more about what you’re into between the sheets.
There are dozens of erotic movies out there, all in a range of styles. Do your research and find a genre that works for you. Here are some of our favourites:
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Secretary (2002) – A dominant lawyer and submissive secretary; it’s almost too cliché. Perfect if you’re partial to a little BDSM
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Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – Erotica twisted with a little psychological drama
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Basic Instinct (1992) – We all know that scene
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Room in Rome (2010) – Steamy same-sex explorations in a Spanish hotel
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Cruel Intentions (1999) – Originally based on the French novel Les Liaisons dangereuses
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Unfaithful (2002) – Is it erotica? Is it a thriller? Who can tell, we’ll just have to watch it again
4. Reading erotica
Whether you love it or loathe it, the Fifty Shades series can certainly be credited with sparking something in the women of the world. According to sources the trilogy sold well over 150 million copies worldwide and has been translated into 51 languages. While many have dubbed it “mummy porn”, there is no denying that Christian Grey and his silver tie can be held responsible for a erotica revolution.
There’s a reason why erotic novels appeal so much to women. To get all science-y for a minute here, research has shown that 90 percent of women use “mental framing” to help with arousal. And further research indicated that men become more aroused by the content they see, but women on the other hand found their arousal in the context of the story, as opposed to the visual offering of porn.
In other words, women don’t just get turned on by the physical act of sex, but everything that goes on around it. The scene, the stimulation of the senses, the tension and the build-up. We simply can’t resist a bit of chemistry. And that’s why adult romance and erotica are so appealing; it encompasses all of that and so much more. It gives us an escape from everyday life, and a little bedroom inspiration, of course.
5. Sexting
Write your own mini digital erotic novel. Whether you have a steady long-term partner or you’re dating around, sexting can be a fantastic, not to mention convenient, way to heat things up. You could tease your partner about what they should expect when they get home from work. Or if you’re on dating apps, it could be the next step in your relationship. If you’ve been out of the game for a while or your sexy talk isn’t really up to much, you might want to get some practice in first. If you’re single, you could try https://chatlinenumbers.com and see how the pros do it or get some inspiration from erotic fiction. If it’s something you’ve never done before, it might feel a bit weird at first, but you’ll get the hang of it eventually.
You’re in control here, so let your imagination run wild and allow your wildest fantasies to come alive.
6. “Feminist” pornography
We’ve already talked about mainstream pornography not being the most feminist out there. And it doesn’t always stop when the cameras are off with unethical behaviour also reported behind the scenes. As the pornography industry is so male-dominated, it can be hard to find porn that is both ethical, feminist and that focuses on women’s desires.
But thankfully, more and more creators are ticking all three of those boxes and transforming the industry. Here’s a little round-up of our favourite ethical porn providers:
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MakeLoveNotPorn.tv – If you hate the fake moans and unrealistic positions, and if “everyday” sex is what turns you on most, then you’ll love this site. No one is performing, there’s no actors and no “amateurs”. What you see are real people, just like us, having sex so you can enjoy it
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JoyBear – They describe themselves as “very British, very naughty” – we’re intrigued so far! Sex-positive films with strong female characters, what’s not to love?
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XConfessions – An amazing crowdsourcing project where people submit confessions, desires and fantasies and each month two are transformed into explicit short films. That’s about as “real” as you can get!
The world’s your oyster when it comes to finding something to turn you on. The erotica and pornography industries are no longer dominated by movies made by men for men. With more and more options available, especially if you’re willing to use a little imagination, there’s never been a better time to explore your sexual fantasies.
