Hey, dudes.
This one’s for you.
Ever wondered what you’re doing so terribly wrong that your first date never makes it past…just that? If you seem to be stuck in a repeated dating cycle that fizzles as quickly as it began, maybe there is a reason and maybe, it isn’t the women but you. There could be plenty of reasons, but one easy issue to fix is thus: You’re not quite behaving the way one should behave on a first date. We know first impressions count (annoyingly, they really d0), so make sure you make the best first date impression by taking heed of my below tips:
1. Whatever you do, don’t spend the whole date playing with your phone
THIS IS NUMBER ONE FOR A REASON. IT’S JUST THE WORST. Put the mobile phone away! That’s the number one rule. What is it with guys? Check it every now and again if you have to, fine. But guys that just sit there and laugh at random stuff on Instagram – that is definitely bad on a date. Guys do it all the time, especially in this day and age. It’s so frustrating. It basically shows they’re bored and they don’t want to give you their full attention, or maybe they’re texting someone else. Just put the phone away.
2. Always offer to pay – even if you split
If it’s a first date, I still like that guys offer to pay. As a girl, I will also offer to pay and if you want to go Dutch that’s great. I don’t think guys should have to foot the bill all the time. It’s nice to offer, and if she’s a good girl she will also offer. Because then you can split, and if you like each other maybe the second date he’ll go ‘no, no I’ll pay for this’.
3. Make sure you put the effort in
Here’s an example of a date fail: it was a first date and I was really excited about meeting him. He bowls in to Selfridges, London where I was working at the time, and he’s wearing trainers and a cap… he looked scruffy as fuck. And he was like, an ex-racing driver as well so I expected a lot more from this dude. We went round to a place round the corner. I’d put on a new dress and new heels, and put all this effort and energy, and he genuinely had no fucks to give.” I said to him, ‘nice cap’, and he said: “Oh yeah, I couldn’t be bothered to do my hair.”
Things like that piss me off because girls, like I had, put effort in. From that point onwards, I knew we wouldn’t be a match.
4. Be decisive, step up and organise things
I like men that arrange dates. Do you know how many times I’ve been asked, ‘what you doing… when you free… what do you want to do, I don’t mind’, and that attitude annoys me. It just makes it look like there’s no attention, and they can’t really be bothered. All women love a man that can take control – not be controlling – but take control. So I like it when men say, ‘What’s your favourite – Italian or Sushi?’ as an example, or she says “I really love Sushi”, and he goes “Right, I’ll pick you up at seven, I’ve got a table booked somewhere”, and he keeps it a surprise. That is a great start to a first date.
5. Wear the right clothes
Appearance is a big thing. Yes, we all want to be comfortable and show off who we are on a first date – but there’s no point going above and beyond if you don’t look like that normally, because you’re setting yourself up for a fall. That being said, I love to see a man has made an effort with his appearance for me. Aftershave, some grooming – it all helps!
6. Pick the right venue and be creative
I’ve done a billion dinner and drinks – it does get quite tedious. A lot of girls have a bit of an issue with eating in front of men as well, some people just don’t feel very comfortable with the act of eating with a total stranger. I think it’s always good to do something more activity based, but it doesn’t have to be rocket science. I think it’s really lovely and cute when guys plan picnics, and it’s just a bit different. It doesn’t have to be really expensive either. You don’t all have to jump out of helicopters or go bungee jumping or anything, but activity dates for me show the personality of the person more than dinner and drinks. In those dates the dinner can be quite confrontational, like an interview, and then if the drinks start flowing and that’s when dangerous shit happens. Either you lose your inhibitions or you divulge your life’s story when it’s too much and too soon.
7. For god’s sake, ask questions
I find that when guys are arrogant they just sit there and talk about themselves a lot. This is an example: I went out on a dinner date with a celebrity – I’m not saying who. All he spoke about was himself. I sat and listened to him just reel off all this self-glorifying stuff. He was a trumper – anything that I’d done, he’d trumped it, and done twice as much stuff. He just was not listening to me, he didn’t give a shit about anything to do with me. In the end I brought it up, and said: “You do realise you’ve talked AT me for at least two hours now.” He went really quiet. I then followed up, “you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, you haven’t asked me any questions…” and soon after, I was heading back to the train station.
There’s confidence and there’s arrogance. You have to be careful not to cross that line.
8. Don’t push her into going home after
This is just a given. Savvi?
