With how the world is evolving and technology becomes a part of our everyday lives, it is to no surprise that even dating has been involved in the process. Although more standard ways of meeting new people are still on play, a lot of people have found more comfort in using online dating apps, and for gay people, the same thing applies.
But how does online dating apps and websites work for members of the LGBTIQ+ community? Well, although there are places focused on providing services to the members of this community, such as Grindr, there are still problems, and the alternatives out there are far from perfect. Still, some problems might be related to something deeper: the community of online dating.
But to understand the problems behind the process, let’s talk a little about how matchmaking sites work, and the usual procedures people have to take to be a part of the community.
The usual process
How people register on a dating website or app is usually similar regardless of the focus of the said website. You begin by answering some questions, normally presented in the form of a quiz, and start filling your profile by sharing information that is necessary for the matching process. This will help the site narrow down possible matches for you.
With that said, other apps, such as Tinder, throw candidates at you until you find someone who is of your liking, you drop a like. If that person gives you a like as well, it’ll create a match, and both sides will be able to send a message to start a chat, then go from there. Nowadays, it’s a pretty common strategy, adding some advantages to premium users, like seeing who gave you a like, giving you more super likes per day (which are more noticeable than regular likes), and such.
On other sites, though, it’s common to see the algorithm behind it matching people depending on their likes, aspirations, morals, sexuality, age, race, among many other things. It completely depends on each website, but after you’ve filled your profile with information, you’ll have to add some pictures to lure potential partners.
But here’s where problems begin.
Facing the reality
As I’ve already mentioned, the online-dating community is far from perfect, and apps are still improving to this day, so you should understand that this process has its virtues and downsides and that even by paying on some websites, you might still not be able to find results.
And the problem is far more complex than I’d like to admit, but can be simply explained with a single sentence: people using online dating apps rarely look for serious relationships. And for people looking for a meaningful partner, this is a problem.
Of course, if you are someone who’s looking to experience new things, get a quick fix, some fun and keep on the road, this is far from a problem. But for people who are actually looking to (as the name dating implies) date someone, this brings a lot of disappointments to the table.
That is why for newcomers, I recommend trying to understand how the community works and the problems and advantages of datings apps. It helps you reduce your expectations while not solely relying on them as a solution. Dating apps are practical. They let you get to know people a little bit before engaging them more personally, and it’s a great way to find people who’s into the same things as you, but… It takes time. And some will power as well.
If you are still wondering whether online matchmaking sites are actually helping or not, you might want to read this article for a few tips since it provides some key information about how it is to try them out for gay men.
Still, I’m not saying they are meaningless! In some special cases, matchmaking sites have managed to unite people who were meant to each other, and create wholesome relationships, or in the worst-case scenario, bring people together to become really close friends.
Should you try them out?
Absolutely. Yes, they might be a little annoying to deal with, and it requires time to get actual results, but if you have a couple of free minutes per day, you can invest them on it and see how things go. Of course, I only recommend them if you are ready to face the process with patience, optimism, and strength.
A lot of people feel bad after being rejected right after finding a match, and they might even get depressed and stop using the app right away. This is not the correct way of using a dating app. You should be ready for rejection in online dating as you should be ready for rejection in the real world. At its core, it’s the same, just a little faster.
Also, you should look for an app or site that fits your needs the most. There are multiple options out there, so I advise you to check out this online dating guide in case you are lost and don’t know where to start.
Remember, online dating takes time, no matter whether you are straight or a member of the LGBTIQ+ community, but if you face the challenge with the right mindset, things will be much easier for you.
Overall, try not to take things too personally when someone asks for a hook-up or one-night stands. There’s a lot of people like that out there! But also, try not to look for the perfect partner for you, your blue prince. Try to keep your expectations in check, and give people the opportunity to meet you and talk about themselves.
Who knows? You might just find what you are looking for.
