Masturbation. Let’s just get that word out in the open. We all do it, or at least want to on some level. And although blokes can openly brag about how many wanks they can knock out in one day, somehow women still ain’t allowed to talk about it without being made out to be slutty. As far as double standards go, that’s one of the shittiest ones out there.
So let’s get one thing straight; there’s nothing “wrong” or “dirty” about it. You’re not a ‘slut’ or ‘disgusting’ if you masturbate and know what turns you on. And aside from making you feel pretty damn good, did ya know masturbating can actually come with some incredible mental health benefits and actually improve your mental wellbeing. Yep.
So with most of the world still in lockdown at the time of writing it’s fair to say that we all need a little self-love now more than ever.
Who better to turn to first than our own resident sexpert? Know-it-all of all things sex and relationships, our Editor-in-Chief Nixalina Watson and editor of Sex & Singapore City says no one should rely on someone else for their orgasms: “Masturbation is a physical and mental relief, particularly when you orgasm. It offers your body and mind deep relaxation, as well as the capability to put you into a sleepy mode once you climax. Relying on someone else to offer you an orgasm and thus this relaxed state seems unfair and unnecessary – what to do if you’re single? What if you’re in a long distance relationship? Masturbation should be something that is ‘normal’ for someone to do – self exploration of the body can only enhance a sexual relationship with another person too. “
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Eleanor McKenzie, Editor-in-Chief of erotic fiction subscription service Lady Victoria Howard, says:
“Social distancing is awkward for all of us. No kisses, hugs, or even shaking hands is contrary to our norms of politeness as well as ways of showing affection and warmth. A lack of human touch definitely affects our emotional and mental health.
“Those people who were fortunate enough to have partners, children or pets with them throughout lockdown have not missed out on touch in the same way as those who live alone. Nobody started lockdown thinking their mental health might be affected by lack of physical contact; it’s something that creeps up on them and that makes it more dangerous for the most vulnerable in mental health terms.”
So let’s take a gander at why masturbating should be as part of your daily routine as taking a vitamin or brushing your teeth. Just maybe not at the same time. But whatever floats your boat. No judgement.
Reduce feelings of depression & anxiety
How we feel is all controlled by hormones in our brains, and when there’s an imbalance of those hormones our mood can go from feeling you’re very best and then plummet into the depths of a depression with no warning. Masturbation can help to release the very best of these hormones, the ones that you want more of. Dopamine is responsible for making you feel good and put you in a better mood, and oxytocin (the ‘love’ hormone) helps to combat cortisol, the stress hormone.
Dr Earim is Medical Director of wellness platform, Manual, talks about the incredible cocktail of hormones released when you get down with yourself:
“Research and anecdotal reports suggest that sexual stimulation, like masturbation, can: relieve stress and tension, boost your mood, sleep better, improve your sex life by better understanding your wants and needs and so on. Orgasm causes the release of endorphins, which are known to reduce stress and boost confidence. Also released is serotonin, which is a known antidepressant.”
So grab your favourite toy, lube up , and let’s get those hormones swimming! Masturbation; the ultimate stress reliever.
Love yourself more
Your self-esteem and how you feel about yourself is intricately tied to your overall mental and physical health, especially your stress levels. Have you ever noticed when you’re feeling low or crappy about yourself, that everyday tasks and stresses suddenly become a lot harder to deal with? And that you seem to have no energy at all?
But the good news is, there’s a sure fire where to boost your self-esteem, and it’s right at your fingertips. Did y’all know that masturbating has been linked to a positive body image? Spending time getting it on with yourself is a relatively untapped form of self-love and self-acceptance. The more you get to know and understand your body, the more you’ll start to cultivate a loving relationship with it.
Megwyn White, a Certified Clinical Sexologist and Director of Education at sexual wellness brand Satisfyer, adds that we can develop a deeper connection between our mind and body when we masturbate: “It’s not only orgasm that can conquer the negative impacts of lack of social touch. When we explore self-pleasure we can also help to activate neural receptors within the skin called c-tactile afferent nerves, which especially respond to slow and gentle touch.
“We can help support this neutral connective feature of mind/body awareness through slow conscious touch of the body, and this can result in a slowing down of the stress response and a more positive relationship to our surrounding environment. In a very real sense, when you touch your own body you are in direct communication with your mind.”
Get better sleep
Who doesn’t want to sleep more? It’s underrated as hell. In a world that thrives on hustle culture and with social media telling us that we have to be on the go constantly, if we’re not constantly busy then the likes of Instagram can make us feel as though we’re lazy and under-achieving. That in turn pours petrol on the fires of our anxiety and stress which can cause us to lie awake at night, and then the sleep deprivation makes us more stressed and anxious, which can lead to low moods and poor physical health. It’s a terrible cycle!
But before you start popping sleeping pills, why not give something else a try? Orgasms can act as a natural sedative to help you unwind and relax. Those delicious hormones we talked about earlier – like prolactin and oxytocin – are released and can help you feel nice and sleepy once you come down from your high, helping you get that good night’s sleep you’ve been daydreaming about.
Combat loneliness
Let’s face it, we’ve all had a bit of a rough time recently. Big world changes and the uprooting of our daily routines hasn’t been easy on any one, especially if you live alone or are away from partners. And while nothing can replace the touch of a loved one, masturbation could be a fun and pleasurable way to fill that gap.
Dr Earim weighs in again here, “During this period of lockdown, human touch isn’t as available to us, and singles have had to put dating on hold. Masturbation allows you to take pleasure into your own hands if you’re self-isolating. As we know, masturbation is great for your mind and might reduce some negative emotions you’re experiencing presently. Above all else, it’s important to enjoy yourself and embrace your sexuality.”
If there’s one thing we’ve learned here, it’s that masturbation is fab. Hands down. Not only does it make you feel like you’re getting electrocuted (ya know, in a good way), but it turns out it’s great for your mental health too. So, if anything, masturbation is just what the doctor ordered. Get to it!
