Why So Serious?

Whilst Joker was a raging psychopath with deep internal mental issues and a complete lack of empathy for any other living being…he had one thing right. Just one. It’s his staple question and I couldn’t agree more: “Why so serious?” He may have been a homicidal maniac but he always lightened the fucking mood. Guys, take note. 

I’m not going to delve into the fictional dysfunctional relationship of Joker and Harley, but more address the dysfunctional behaviour of guys I date in the real world. You see, I’m getting a little done in with how fucking serious they all are from day one. It’s getting me downnnnnnn. 

I’m proud to be a bit on the weird / eccentric / crazy / over the top side of life. I’ve never pretended to be the plain Jane. So when guys want to date me, they get exactly what it says on the tin from day one. I will want to chat for hours on the phone. I will go out, get drunk and call you up when I’m wandering back home. I will whatsapp you pointless ramblings during the day. I will want to come hang out and do shit like go play golf or go to Bounce or go sing karaoke or go climbing or feed the swans in the park. I will invite you to come to press events with me or movie premieres or fashion shows. I will do all of this not because I want to fucking have your babies, but because, at that particular moment in time, I dig you. That’s the basic crux of it. Right now, I dig you. 

This doesn’t mean that I want a relationship, that I am jumping into the sack immediately or that I dislike my single life. Couldn’t be more wrong bro. If anything, my brand is at a major turning point and I have to remain single and focused on my own shit to get it into next level mode. That being said, I have a life beyond the blog and will always find time to hang out with people that make me happy. I will, when it comes along, love to head into a relationship that really means something. If you make me happy and I want to chill with you…is that a Joker worthy crime? 

It seems that when I start enjoying a dude’s company, they get all serious on my ass. “I’m not ready to settle down…I’m focused on my career…I’m actually after a relationship soon…no wait I need to be single…my ex relationship was shit…my ex won’t leave me alone and it’s too messy to include you…you won’t like me if you got to know me…I’m not good for you…I need to sort my head out…you live too far away…I don’t think you’ll be good for me…we get on so well it scares me…when we met I thought I wasn’t your type so left you to it” I could go on. But even reciting all this bollocks is getting me down and ain’t nobody got time for being bummed out. 

So, my question is this…why are dudes so serious these days? It seems they have this built-in knee jerk reaction that makes them think all women are going to turn psychotic and trap them into a relationship after 5 days of casual calls. Nope. And being the girl on the receiving end…we cannot win! If I point out I am dating other guys or had a guy over or I enjoy being single, then they view me as a non-committal party girl who sleeps about and not girlfriend material. But if I explain I’m looking for a decent relationship down the line…they view me as a husband hunter and run a mile. 

All the while, I’m supposed to remain supportive and sweet and loving and listen to all their problems and be there for them and make them laugh or give them cuddles or send nudes or turn them on whenever they want. I end up stepping on egg shells in case I say or do something that puts me in either of these categories: the whore or the husband hunter. That’s all you get given. Fuck that shit. You can say what you want about Harley and Joker but they had one thing right – they got each other’s crazy and fucking well enjoyed it. 

Here’s a new idea. Why don’t you just stop, chill, and see how it goes? If you want a wallflower, don’t come knocking on my door. But that being said, just because I am open about my weirdness, doesn’t mean I’ll be dragging you out of bed at 2am to go kick daffodils. I’m normal. I do normal shit. I spend weekends watching movies or at a pub…I prefer a chill night in than a club…I play sport…I feed my cat twice a day…I enjoy walks along the river…I order takeaway. You get me?

I don’t want a guy to be immediately obsessed with me, but I also don’t want a guy to forecast the entire relationship based on previous experiences before we’ve even had a chance to run with it. It’s all too heavy, too serious, too much and too soon. Please, just chill.  Don’t play your joker card before you’ve even been handed the full pack.  

I’m not saying I’m Harley. But if I am…I need a fucking Joker.